Retraction

Retraction

Posted on 10. Feb, 2009 by Michele in Impact

It appears I frightened some of you with my Takin’ the Gloves Off post yesterday. A few of you (names withheld) went so far as to sit on the opposite side of the room from me this morning when I spoke to our local writer’s group. Worried that any misstep might result in a lowering of my shoulder and bull-like snort of my snout, you made sure a few tables, chairs and people remained safely parked in between us. I also noticed you sat quite close to the door.

For the record, I am not a violent person. I am a woman of peace.*  I have never hockey-checked anyone, nor do I have an itch to punch someone now. I can only explain the aggressive tone of Takin’ the Gloves Off as a temporary out-of-body experience related to the wretched cold I contracted last weekend. Not only did it obstruct my ability to breath clearly, but it momentarily high-jacked any sense of self restraint, allowing me to freely express what the rest of you (big chickens) are reluctant to post.

Be reassured, I have joined a 12-step cough drop recovery program and plan to be singing folk songs in the lotus position by the end of the week.

Thanks for your concern. Shalom.

*I’d appreciate it if you’d refrain from asking friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, grocery-store checkers, and my Starbucks baristas for references.

(This should be read with humor and not a little sarcasm. Life’s too short not to laugh, people.)

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10 Comments

Jan Parrish

10. Feb, 2009

I’m not worried Michele, I can take you. LOL.

Sharen Watson

10. Feb, 2009

OH MY GOSH!!! This is hilarious! YOU? Hockey check someone? Never saw this coming… LOL! But seriously, those colds bring out the worst in us, don’t they? And any addiction to cough drops can be conquered through yet another 12 step program, I’m sure.

NOW… slowly back away from the laptop. No technology checks allowed. Okay, cough, take a deep breath. C’mon back!

Kay Day

10. Feb, 2009

Thanks Michele. That’s so much better. I prefer my characters to be perfect. Flaws freak me out a little.

Melissa

10. Feb, 2009

I second Kay’s comment. I totally cannot relate to you when you get the way you were talking about in your violent blog. Wherever is the peace. sistah? :P

Michele

11. Feb, 2009

Jan, no doubt. You could take me with your eyes closed. I wouldn’t dare attempt a Jan-check.

Sharen, you escaped to TX before I broke out of my shell.

Kay and Melissa, whatEVAH. You both can dish it better’n anyone. And my flaws are STAYIN. At least some of them. So deal with it. :)

Much love to all my imperfect friends. And thanks to those who have the courage to be authentic, and allow those around them to do the same thing right back.

Danica

11. Feb, 2009

Man, I saw the title of retraction and was worried about you for a second with all the retraction talk at WFTJ. Keept it real, sistah, keep it real.

Ashleigh

11. Feb, 2009

I’m curious of what your 12 step cough drop recovery plan consists of…. Sounds entertaining! And I’ll be sure to stand on the way other side of the piano to avoid any possibility of being hockey checked. :) You crack me up.

Jerolyn

11. Feb, 2009

Oh Michele, amazing that you even had to print a retraction. Thanks for being real and making the rest of us laugh in this crazy world. Keep it up and I’ll be sure to call on you if I should ever need to take somebody out!! lol

Darcie

12. Feb, 2009

I’m gonna beat you up for retracting. Don’t cave to people’s misunderstandings.

Pick up a hockey stick.

Come one, if you can scare off a coyote…

Michele

13. Feb, 2009

Thanks, guys! I’m standing by my post … truth is I don’t think most people know how to do conflict well. We either sulk, verbally attack, gossip to everyone else or completely withdraw from relationship. I’m guilty, too.

If we could only take it all out on a wrestling mat, and then shake hands and go out to dinner afterwards … think we’d all be much happier and drink less. :)

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